2018-19 Season: Berrylands v Oxted (3s) 5 – 0 Berrylands

The 10 brave souls of Berrylands girded their loins, donned their gumshields and padded their shins for this 4.30 pm match in deepest, darkest (literally) Oxted.

The home side were providing two umpires; they may just as well have not bothered as the umpiring – or lack of – was simply shockingly awful as one umpire blew for any Berrylands offence, real or imagined; and the other hardly blew her whistle at all, cheerfully admitting “I don’t umpire”. You don’t say …

The Oxted veteran centre forward was obviously eager to get her name on the score sheet once again, though she didn’t manage to score quite a quickly as during out previous encounter but despite T’s best efforts in goal – and there were some absolutely amazing saves during the game, with T blocking shot after shot as the ball cannoned into her chest time and time again – and Lins, Jainie and Helena in defence scurrying around to thwart Oxted’s attacking moves, it was soon 2-0 to the home side.

However, as the half wore on (slowly), Berries started to get more into their stride and there were some lovely passing moves particularly on the right hand side of the pitch between Sophia and Ellie, and eventually Katya managed to scramble the ball across the goal line but unfortunately the ball had hit the back of her heel and the goal was disallowed. Funny how the umpire saw that foul.

Play was halted briefly to allow Sophia to change her trainers as the sole had completely come away.

Gerry – in a coaching role – was also admonished for encroaching on to the pitch …. Tut tut. We turned round at half-time 2- 0 down and Oxted then scored from a cracking short corner shot which flew into the goal – no chance of stopping that one…..

Then came the bizarre episode …… an Oxted father insisted the umpire stop the game and speak to Grace who, apparently, had slapped his daughter in the back. So sure was he that he initially accused Katya before changing his mind. Grace was summoned across the pitch to be told “I haven’t got a green card but I’m giving you one anyway”, and she was sent off, to silence from the Oxted supporters.

Despite being down to 9 men, Berries kept Oxted away from the goal but Lins got a nasty ball on the knee as a reward. The clock was stopped once again, ice was administered and Lins bravely stayed on the pitch.
It was only in the last dying minutes of the game that we conceded two further goals, thus flattering Oxted with a 5-0 scoreline.

The umpire apologised to Grace saying “I shouldn’t have sent you off; I didn’t see anything”. Bit late now.

There were no refreshments after the game, the whole Oxted team shot off leaving one player to switch off the floodlights and leaving Berrylands to get changed in a dark car park as the changing rooms had been locked and there was no access to any toilets…..